Tag Archives: 28

They say that geek’s becoming chic…

Well, since i can’t concentrate on my homework that’s due in 2 1/2 hours, I figured I’d write a little.  Since I can’t get this out of my head by continually thinking about it, so maybe if I put it down on digital paper, I can get rid of it and complete my schoolwork.

See, the problem is that Geek & Sundry, Felicia Day‘s YouTube channel, released a new video a couple of weeks ago.  It’s a music video from her work with The Guild. For the uninitiated, The Guild is a webseries that Day writes, produces and stars in, loosely based on her obsession with World of Warcraft.  The song (and the video) is called (I’m the one that’s) Cool and it’s effing FANTASTIC.

Watch the video, I’ll post lyrics after the jump.

1ST VERSE:
Oh, no. Don’t pretend I didn’t see
You roll your eyes at my gaming tee
Don’t know if you can read or if you’ve seen
The sweet piece in this week’s Wired magazine
The latest trend has hit its peak
They say that geek’s becomin’ chic
So now you’re out of style as you can be
And I’m in vogue, so you can bite me

CHORUS 1:
To all the ass-hat jocks who beat me up in school
Now I’m the one that’s cool
I’m the one that’s cool
To all the prom queen bitches thinking they still rule
Now I’m the one that’s cool
I’m the one that’s cool

2ND VERSE:
Try to cop my style but I’m the real thing
While you played sports, I played Magic the Gathering
Never earned your part of nerd society
My Aquaman pajamas prove my pedigree
Watched my Next Gen every night
Wore a headgear to fix my overbite
Your black-rimmed glasses are prescription free, where as me
I literally can’t see my hand in front of my face

CHORUS 2:
To all the asshat jocks who beat me up in school
Now I’m the one that’s cool
I’m the one that’s cool
To all the prom queen bitches thinking they still rule
Now I’m the one that’s cool
I’m the one that’s cool
And to my eighth-grade crush who pushed me in the pool
Now I’m the one that’s cool
I’m the one that’s cool
You may be tan and fit and rich but you’re a tool
And I’m the one that’s cool
I’m the one that’s cool

3RD VERSE:
Role reversal must be a total drag
But there’s no point, no point for me to humblebrag
I appreciate you for being cruel
I’m burning bright thanks to your rejection fuel
Got my in-jokes you won’t get
Like Honey Badger, Troll Face and Nyan Cat
So now your ballin’ parties seem so dumb
You can Evite me, and I’ll say yes, but I won’t really come

Got my comics
Got my games
All the things you thought were lame
Got my cosplay
Fanfic too
Got you pegged
STFU

(CHORUS 2)

I’m the one that’s Cool x4

Now, I’ve talked a bit about high school before, but I’m gonna do it again.  I Love This Song.  I LOVE THIS SONG.  I love this song for many, many reasons.  I tried to explain to Husband why I love this song so much and he just didn’t get it.  But then, if you ask him about high school, all he has to say is “I was a ghost in high school, I was invisible”.  Well, I, for one, am incredibly jealous of that ability.  I am not a … well, I’m not invisible.  For all of my faults, all of my inherent shyness, I am a person that gets noticed.  These days, it’s because I’m covered in tattoos and piercings.  Or because I’m smart.  Or because I’m outspoken and opinionated.  Whatever.

In high school, however, it was a different story.  I’m not going to rehash my history getting gay bashed, but I do want to talk about the intense bullying I experienced because of being a huge nerd.  I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m a huge geek; I was raised on Monty Python, Star Wars, Star Trek, Fantasy novels, Sci-fi, dungeons and dragons.  And it SUCKS being told that you’re a freak, a loser, less than nothing because of the things that you like.  Even at 28 I experience the same type of discrimination and bullying.  I’ve had other “adults” (and I use that term very loosely for people who engage in such immature acts) say things to me like “Why do you play RPGs? That’s for losers.” “Why do you watch Doctor Who? Jersey Shore is so much better. Doctor Who is weird, like you.”

And as weird as it is, I still let it affect me, sometimes.  I’m much better at laughing it off now, I generally only end up in tears when someone I love makes hateful, hurtful comments.  Acquaintances and strangers are generally either ignored or educated.  And I’ve noticed that a lot of the time, these people don’t realize that what they’re doing is bullying.  They think that expressing their opinions in hurtful ways is perfectly OK.  Now, I’m not sitting here trying to advocate suppressing people’s opinions, but there’s got to be an appropriate way to express those opinions without being hurtful.

Anyway, I’ve digressed.  What I really wanted to talk about on this post is the lyrics of (I’m the one that’s) Cool.  “To all the ass-hat jocks who beat me up in school” “To all the Prom Queen bitches, thinkin’ they’re still cool” “To my 8th grade crush, who pushed me in the pool” “You may be tan and fit and rich, but you’re a tool” “Now, I’m the one that’s cool” “Role reversal must be a total drag” “I appreciate you for being cruel, I’m burning bright thanks to your rejection fuel”.

 This song is a survivor’s anthem. This song is all about how all of that shit truly just makes you stronger, makes you better.  It sucks ass when you have to go through it, but it makes you so much more in the long run.

This song means so much to me.  I cried the first time I watched the video.  It was a small grain of proof I’ve needed so desperately my entire life.  Until about 5 years ago, I always felt uncomfortable in my own skin.  Always felt uncomfortable, like I didn’t belong, in the societies I was trying to live in.  Always felt like there was something inherently wrong with me because I didn’t fit in.  And this song is one small glimpse that I’m not the only person who felt like that.  I’m not the only person who had to wait until their mid 20’s to hit their stride, to feel like a normal, functioning human being.  It’s a glimpse that maybe I wasn’t broken, all those years, after all.

And sometimes, I need that glimpse more than I need the next breath of air.


Surprise!

Husband lied to me.  He told me that he had bought me a set of Skull Candy headphones and we were just waiting for them to arrive in the post.  He didn’t.

He bought me this instead:

Isn't she sexy?!?

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a 30lb recurve bow.  I was really into archery when I was a youngster and I’ve been wanting to get back into it for a long while.  Every time we go to Bass Pro Shops, Husband very indulgently waits while I spend at least half an hour drooling over archery supplies that I can’t afford.  I’m also somewhat convinced that he has a secret goal to “one up” me every birthday.  Our birthdays are 13 days apart and every year I think I’ve gotten him a great present.  And then he gives me an iMac.  Or a new bow.  And makes my “video game I know he wants and computer software” gift look completely lame in comparison.  *sigh*

I was so excited about this present, I might have derped.  Hard…

Hurr Hurr, Is New Bow!!

Seriously, though, she’s gorgeous and I absolutely love her.  Unfortunately, every single place that sells feather fletched arrows is either a) sold out or b) closed on Monday.  So I have to wait until tomorrow to buy arrows.  Oh well, I think I’ll live.

Update:  Viking Archery in Canyon Lake had the arrows I needed and I spent about an hour talking shop with the dude who owns the shop.  He’s lovely and they’re very, very reasonably priced for just about everything they sell.  I wholeheartedly recommend them to anyone in the San Antonio area.

I got the most obnoxiously girlie arrows I could find, just to piss Husband off when he wants to use them.

One more, because she's so beautiful. I'm talking about the bow, silly, not me.


Awwwww Yeeeaaaahhhh!

Sorry for the radio silence this week, my computer’s been in the shop and I hate using Husband’s laptop.  But, my baby is all fixed up and home now.  So yeah, that’s right, I’m back, bitches!  And now, for a random collection of shit that I don’t feel like breaking down into multiple posts.

Let’s talk about Facebook.  I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but Facebook is kind of a creeper.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as Facebook addicted as the average 20-something, but it kind of freaks me out sometimes.  The Friend Suggestions/”People You May Know” is really what I have a problem with.  For about a year, it kept telling me that I should be friends with my buddy’s 16 year old son who I had never met because he lives with his mom.  Then it kept trying to get me to be friends with a bunch of 14 year olds because I went to their high school.  Never mind the fact that I graduated 11 years ago.  That’s not weird or anything.  Or how about every single time it suggests to me that I may know So-and-so because “you both worked at US Army”.  Yeah… There’s a lot of people that can make that claim.  About 3 million of us.  And I don’t know most of them.  And I REALLY don’t like interactive adverts.  But that’s another gripe.  My biggest problem with Facebook right now is that when you switch to the new timeline, there’s a feature called “Activity Log”.  No one else can see this information, it’s for the profile owner only, but it’s a still bit freaky.  I don’t really like that Facebook remembers that “Kalypso joined Facebook!” on June 12th 2008 at 0653.  That’s a little stalker-esque.

Let’s talk about birthdays!!  As I might have mentioned on Tuesday, it was my birthday. Yes, I know it’s on Valentine’s Day. Thank you for pointing that out to me.  I can’t believe I managed to make it 28 years in the world and I NEVER realized that my birthday fell on Valentine’s Day!  Anyway.  All I really wanted for my birthday was Chipotle, Chocolate and David Tennant.  Again, a girl’s got to have dreams, right?  What I received was: A SHIT LOAD OF LOVE via Facebook, email, text message and phone calls (my sister almost blew out one of my eardrums singing Happy Birthday over the phone), some random Doctor Who memorabilia (sonic screwdriver, roving desktop dalek, mini-tardis and two posters), Chipotle for lunch, Sushi for dinner (bonus!), Dominion, an Edible Arrangement (thanks, mom and dad!) and a set of REALLY awesome Skull Candy headphones.  So yeah, needless to say, I was surprised and it was awesome.  Oh, plus, a girlfriend sent me David Tennant and Chocolate.  So really, my day was perfect. Here’s a picture of my Edible Arrangement:

Chocolate, Strawberries, Pineapple and Cantaloupe? HELL YES, PLEASE.

And it’s OK, you can be jealous of my dalek, roving around my kitchen counter!

And moving on. To Dentists.  I mother-effing HATE the dentist.  I have only had bad experiences with dentists.  I think it springs from the fact that my Daddy is a Ginger.  I’m pretty damn close to being a ginger myself.  And Redheads have been scientifically proven to be harder to anesthetize than anyone else.  I’ve always reacted poorly to Novocain.  It usually takes at least 3 shots and at least 20 minutes to get me numb.  And I’ve never had a dentist believe me, so they all start drilling before I’m numb.  Ugh.  *shudders*  So at this point in my life, I just generally don’t go if I can avoid it and when I do go it’s usually an anxiety attack waiting to happen.  Well, I’ve had one broken filling for about 5 years and another that I thought has been broken for about 3.  I finally went to the dentist on Thursday, for the first time in 2 years.  And I was right, I have one broken filling.  And one broken tooth.  I have no idea how I broke a tooth, but I did.  And the broken filling? It’s so damn big that they can’t drill it out and replace it.  I have to get a crown.  Well, two, actually, because the broken tooth needs one too.  But, I have no new cavities and I don’t need a root canal in either tooth, so that’s good.  The problem, though, is that my dental insurance is only going to cover 50%.  So it’s going to cost me $900 out of pocket to get this done.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a spare $900.  I’m an unemployed student and Husband is an E4 in the army, which means his base pay is $2300/month.  I have about $2200 coming from my amended tax returns (the only nice part of being an unemployed student!) but since it’s an amendment, it won’t be here until April at the earliest.  But my mom offered to lend me the money for the time being “because you have to take care of your teeth, and I know you, if you put it off until your tax returns come in, you won’t ever do it.”  I am incredibly lucky and blessed that my parents are in a position financially that they can help me out.

Puzzles.  Let’s finish with puzzles.  I am a little … OCD sometimes? I fucking love doing jigsaw puzzles and I always have at least one in progress.  There’s no real appeal to me in doing a puzzle more than once, though.  So I “do ’em and glue ’em”.  This drives Husband crazy because we have about 30 puzzles in cheap ass Walmart frames sitting in our closet because there’s no wall space for them in our tiny house. But that’s besides the point.  I have two 2,000 piece puzzles that have been waiting for a couple of years because I haven’t had a table big enough to do them on.  One is a world map and the other is Neueschwanstein Castle.  I finally remembered to go to Lowe’s and buy a board big enough to do my giant puzzles!  I have a 1,000 piece out right now that I started this morning, but in … oh, two days or so, when I finish it? It’s on like Donkey Kong.

And that’s all I got for now, what’s been going on in your life, Internet?  Did you miss me?   I know, I missed you too.  <3<3<3


Birthday Nonsense

Just a quickie before I go enjoy the rest of my birthday…

So I’ve been talking for a couple of weeks about how all I want for my birthday is David Tennant covered in chocolate.  I mean, a girl’s gotta have dreams, right?

Well, it’s my birthday.  And one of my SUPER AWESOME friends posted this to my facebook today:

The 10th Doctor and Chocolate. What more could I want? Omnomnomnom.

And that really settles it, not only do I have an awesome dad and an awesome husband, I also have some pretty awesome friends.  ❤


My Dad can beat up Your Dad.

Well, probably not.  But still.  I’ve been wanting to write a post about my dad for awhile, but then a girlfriend posted this beautiful story about the 50 most important things a Dad can do for his daughter. And I cried. Because beneath this snarky exterior, I really, truly love my parents and I realize how lucky I am to have them.  I realize how lucky I am to have them in good health, in my life, within 5,000 miles (for the first time in almost a decade) and I am so, so lucky that even though I’m the baby in the family, Dad recognizes that I am an adult and he lets me lead my life.  But that’s not really what I want to talk about today.  I want to talk about how my dad is the coolest dad on the planet and the many reasons why.

Papa Bear (as I so lovingly call him) was not my favorite parent growing up.  He was the strict one, the disciplinarian and I really resented the shit out of him until I was about 21, maybe 22 years old.  As I aged I was able to look back on my childhood without the teenage resentment and with a bit of clarity. And this is what I found:

5 Sentimental Reasons My Dad is Cooler Than Your Dad:

1)  We didn’t have a whole lot of money growing up.  Don’t get me wrong, we were never in danger of starving, but things were very tight in our household for a lot of years.  Despite this, Dad took me on a “date” each month (it might have been more like once a quarter or once a week, I have no idea, I just remember it being on a regular basis.  We have no real concept of time as kids).  We would to out to dinner and then he would take me to the bookstore.  My sister may have been present, but I honestly don’t remember her being there.  I think this is something Dad and I did, just the two of us.  Once I had learned to read, you couldn’t stop me.  It’s a love that I’m not 100% sure he’s responsible for, but it’s a passion he highly encouraged.  My dad is one of about 5 people I know that reads like I do; voraciously and insatiably.  So each month he would take me to the bookstore and let me pick out any books I wanted, up to a certain dollar amount.  Whether it was one book or 5, he didn’t really care.  In retrospect, it’s one of my favorite memories with dad at that age.  Wandering around the Converse Bookstore at Town and Country Mall (why we went all the way to North Phoenix when we lived on the very southern edge of town I’m not really sure…) and having the opportunity to fall in love with reading again and again each month when I brought the new books home.  He would never complain when I asked him to take me to the library so I could borrow more books.  And when I started reading things that he had any interest in, we would sit and talk about them.  For many years and even into my adulthood he would buy me books for special occasions.    A couple of years ago I got a package from Amazon and in it was a copy of “Atlas Shrugged”, with a note from dad: “Kalypso, I started reading this lately and I really want to talk about it with you and your sister. So I sent you each a copy.  Please start reading it so we can discuss it!  Love, Dad.”  He helped me collect every single book in the Redwall series and they’re all still boxed up somewhere in his basement.  All this kind of fell to the wayside when I became a teenager, but that was my fault.  As I’ve stated before, I was a shithead as a teenager, we all were.

2)  He coached my T-Ball team and my softball teams for years.  And even when he wasn’t coaching, he came to every single game.  There was a period when I was in middle school and high school that Pops worked nights and he would miss the occasional game then, but I was old enough to understand why and it never bothered me.  Mom and dad had done a good job of explaining to us why he was working nights (shift differential pay is a big reason) and I can honestly say I was perfectly OK with it.  He held my hand when I got all the bumps and bruises of childhood, through suspected broken bones and inexplicable migraine headaches.  He took me to the ER at midnight on more than one occasion, only to leave with an unclear diagnosis, no sleep and work in the morning.  He was my hero for many, many years.  Still is, in a lot of ways, though I don’t see him as the infallible, perfect being I once assumed he was.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, she’s awesome and a GREAT parent, but I’ve lived my entire adult life with one goal in mind: Make Dad Proud.  Nothing else matters as long as I can make Dad proud that I’m his daughter.

3)  He was never afraid to tell me No or give me punishments that truly fit my crimes.  This is something I see a lot of parents struggle with.  And as I don’t have kids of my own, I have no right to pass judgement on them or their parenting techniques.  And I fucking hated him for this when I was a kid but as an adult, I can see he really was trying to do the best he could for me.  Overall, he let me make my own choices and let me spread my rebellious little wings.  But every time I would cross a line or even get close to the line, he wasn’t afraid to let me know.  Like the time I drew a pot leaf on my backpack as a freshman in high school.  And that night I stood over the sink with a wire scrub brush and scrubbed it off. And I was grounded for a month.  Or the time he found me dead drunk after sneaking out to go to a party with the boys I played Lacrosse with.  Yeah, not only was I grounded for like 6 months, I also had to spend the worst hangover of my life cleaning Everclear Puke out of the back seat of my mom’s car.  What killed me the most about that particular event was that I don’t think Mom or Dad ever even raised their voices to me. They didn’t scream or yell or anything, they didn’t even seem mad.  And then Dad hit me with something worse: “Kalypso, I’m just… I’m just so disappointed.”  Oh God, did that hurt.  That hurt so much, I’ve done everything in my power not to have to hear him say those words again.  And I’ve done pretty well, the only time I’ve heard them since was the day I dropped out of college.  He understood why I was doing it but didn’t agree with my decision.  And I think that his disappointment was only relieved by his pride in my decision to join the army a few months later.  He was, of course, a little disappointed when I got out of the army but he understood that I was a medical mess and needed time off from it. He was disappointed in the situation, not in me, and that’s the big difference.

4)  He’s not afraid to tell me the truth.  He told me one that “you’re so fucking smart you’re almost useless”.  Ouch, Dad, that kind of stung.  But at the time, I deserved it.  I was working as a Ophthalmic Laser Technician and really squandering a lot of my potential.  Now, don’t get me wrong, refractive surgery is a good gig and I made decent money doing it.  I’m not trying to knock anyone who’s in the field.  But Dad’s point was that why should I settle for being a tech when I am more than smart enough and capable enough to be a surgeon.  And he’s absolutely right.  I didn’t realize my potential until the last couple of years.  I’m no longer content being someone else’s lackey or support.  My last job was amazing and I absolutely loved it, but it’s more than a little frustrating having to ask someone else for permission to implement a treatment plan that you know is going to work.  Or having to have someone else make the “official” diagnosis that you already know.  It’s the same reason I never wanted to go into nursing.  Nurses don’t have any power of their own, the Doctors hold ALL the power and make ALL the decisions.  (No offense meant to the wonderful Z, I love you so much and I would work for you any time, but let’s face it, I’m never going to be fully satisfied taking orders from someone else.)

5)  As he’s now considering me an adult, we’ve had a lot of “heart to heart” type of talks in the last couple of years.  I’ve been able to tell him about how crazy I was and how I felt completely invisible to him as a teenager.  Which is a lot of why I acted out; even negative attention was attention.  He’s been able to open up to me about how much I scared him as a teenager because I reminded him of himself at that age.  We’ve been able to talk about all the crazy fucked up things that happened between us and within the family.  And I very much feel like I didn’t know who he was until the last 5 or 6 years.  And that’s OK, you’re not suppose to really know your parents until you’re an adult yourself.  The relationship that my dad and I have today is worth all the drama-queen bullshit that we went through when I was younger.

And that’s enough sentimental crap for now.  Here, I present you with 5 more reasons why My Dad is Cooler Than Your Dad.

1) He’s funny.  Really, he has an awesome sense of humor.  It’s filthy and juvenile most of the time, but that’s why it’s awesome.  He raised us kids on Monty Python and all of that good, dark, British humor.  I knew that my Dad and Husband (then, Boyfriend) were going to get along just fine the first time he came down from Montana (it was a long distance thing for about 6 months after we both got out of the army).  Husband and Dad spent about 4 hours sitting on the couch watching South Park together and giggling like schoolgirls.  He’s got that dark humor that makes you think “Oh gods, he’s going to hell, but SHIT, that was funny!”

2) He’s got his priorities straight.  Last year Mother Monster and Papa Bear came to Germany to visit us.  Husband couldn’t take time off work so the three of us spent like 3 weeks just bumming around Europe.  I took them to Munich (one of my favorite cities).  When we got there, Mom was on about going to see the Glockenspiel and Shopping and Going to the Altstadt, blah blah blah.  Dad looked me in the eye and said “I don’t give a shit what we do, but I want a giant beer and a pretzel.”  So I took that evening, after seeing the Glockenspiel and shopping with Mom, I took them to the Hofbraeuhaus. You know, the Hofbraeuhaus.  And Giant Beers and Pretzels were had by all.  It was lovely.

3) He’s Internet-Hip.  He gets memes and understands me when I reference them.  He knows what Rule 34 is.  If that doesn’t convince you, let me tell you what happened on Friday:  I got an Edible Arrangement on Friday from Mom and Dad for my birthday.  I assumed that they had both decided to send me chocolate covered strawberry goodness and called Mom to thank her.  Got her voicemail. So I called Dad at their house (he works from home).  He answered the phone and I thanked him for the present he had no idea that Mom had sent me.  So we chatted about it for a few moments and then I mentioned that I had taken a picture of it and put it up on facebook.  To which he responded “”You know I don’t like shit about me being out on Facebook. Don’t make me come down there and put a bullet through your laptop!” I laughed my ass off and then reminded him that he doesn’t own a .45. “Well, then I’ll come to Texas, borrow your .45 and put a bullet in your damn laptop!”

4) He’s a big old softy.  He talks a big game about my mom’s “fucking ridiculous dog” but he loves her.  And honestly, he’s not wrong, she’s a french bulldog and she IS ridiculous.  But he’s so cute with Zoe when he thinks no one is watching.  He also talks a lot of shit about my “stupid fucking cats”, until one of them jumps up on his lap.  Then it’s petting and cooing “who’s a good kitty?!?”  He’s also enough of a softy that he *really* wants grand kids.  And Husband and I have no intention of giving them to him.  But as I am married and my sister is not, we still get the occasional bit of pressure from him about procreation.  When they were in Germany last year he managed to make it until the last day of their visit before starting in on Husband.  While he was packing up their stuff the night before they flew back to the states he casually dropped “Oh, and Husband? I would like some FUCKING GRAND BABIES BEFORE I DIE.”  “Um, Dad, don’t do that.  Leave him alone.  This is awkward now.”  To which he cackled like a hyena and said “I’m Just Sayin’.”

5) He truly enjoys life.  He laughs a lot.  He realizes that life is too short to be angry all the time and laughs as much as possible.  And when he laughs, he sounds like a squeaky toy.  No, really, he does.  He’ll guffaw for a second or two then start giggling and when he really gets going, he doesn’t make any noise except for the occasional squeak and he just shakes with laughter.  It’s hilarious.  His laugh makes me laugh.  He laughs with his entire body and soul.

****EDIT: This was supposed to go live last night, but I was waiting to hear back from my dad about whether or not it was OK to talk about him on the internet.  He wrote me back late last night with the following:

That was very sweet, honey. Thanks.
and we went to N. Phx because it was the Discount bookstore..  🙂
So now we know the reason we drove way the fuck up to North Phoenix to go to the bookstore.  😀

I hate teenagers…

… I can’t help it, I really, really do.  Every once in a great while, I’ll meet one that I legitimately like, but that’s very rare. I can think of one off the top of my head, my girlfriend J has an awesome just-turned-13-year-old C, who I adore.  But for the most part, I fucking hate everyone I meet under the age of 25 or so.

They’re all shitheads.  No, this isn’t opinion, it’s stone cold fact.  All Teenagers Are Shitheads.  Yes, I know that the majority of the time, some of them can be pretty OK.  But they have absolutely no life experience and just enough hubris to think they do.  They have no fucking perspective on anything.

Let’s talk about why I brought this up in the first place:  I AM SO FUCKING GLAD FACEBOOK DIDN’T EXIST WHEN I WAS 16.  Because I was a shithead at 16.  I really was.  And for my life to be out there on the internet for all the world to see?  Oh gods, I am so fucking glad that my teenage shitheadedness will not be immortalized on the internet.  Now, when it comes to Facebook, I’m kind of an idiot.  Don’t get me wrong, my FB is locked down tighter than a gnat’s ass, it’s not under my real “meat space” name and I have it set so that my friends can see anything I do.  I don’t accept friend requests from strangers or “friends of friends” unless I truly do know them.  My problem is that I’m a sucker for teenagers (wow, let me try to say that in a non-pedophile way… ) As much as I hate them, there’s a part of me that very vividly remembers how much High School sucked and I want to try to make that experience a little less traumatic for everyone else.  I have a lot of friends who have teenagers.  And since I’m 10-15 years younger than the vast majority of my friends, I am way closer to their kids’ ages than they are.  Also, I’m a huge nerd and don’t mind tutoring kids.  For these many reasons, I tend to have their teenage daughters want to be legit friends.  And every single time, I try to humor them.  In a moment of weakness, I accept the friend request they send me.  And every single time I end up deleting them.  Usually, it’s over some really stupid shit, but I just can’t take it anymore.

One 16 year old daughter of a friend broke my brain when she declared that watching a fictional character on a TV show have a miscarriage was “the saddest thing ever”.  Being a woman who’s had 5 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy, I was a little offended by this.  All I said to her in response was “Please try to have a little perspective.  To say that this is the saddest thing ever is really insulting to anyone who’s lost a baby in real life.”  And she and her mom both freaked out on me about “She has the right to exercise her freedom of speech, if you don’t like what she has to say unfriend her blah blah blah”.  And then Mom had Teenager unfriend and block me on Facebook.  Um.  For starters, you’r teaching your kid that no one is allowed to have a different opinion or challenge her in any way and if they do, it’s OK to run away.  You’re a fucking idiot.  Mom’s main point was “She’s only 16!”  To which I could only respond with “Exactly.  She’s 16, not 6.  She needs to start realizing that the things she says affect other people and to be more conscientious of her words and deeds.  She’s on the cusp of adulthood and to behave like a petulant child is unacceptable.”  Needless to say, I don’t speak to Teenager or Mom anymore.  Whatever, honestly, my life has way less drama in it now.

Another friend’s 16 year old just got unfriended today.  She’s never said anything as blatantly awful as the previous teenager, but I got really sick of reading her status updates about how her life is so awful and it’s basically the worst thing ever when she doesn’t get every single thing she wants.  First of all, she’s 16 and lives in Germany.  Her mom and dad both have good jobs and are able to put food on the table and clothes on her back.  She’s smart and a decent student and will graduate high school and be able to afford to go to college.  She lives in a 3,000 square foot house.  There is NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS CHILD’S LIFE, and yet, she’s thoroughly convinced that her entire world is ending because… well, because she didn’t get to go to the mall when she wanted to.  Or she had to go on a trip to NORMANDY instead of going to PARIS.  It just got to the point where I couldn’t handle listening to this spoiled brat complain about her perfect middle class life one more time.

I think the majority of it springs from the fact that I KNOW I was just as much of a shithead as these two were when I was that age.  And I fucking despise that about myself in hindsight.  So to see it in kids that I’m not allowed to berate is a little too much for me.  If it were within the social norms of “appropriate behavior” to tell these kids that I have no blood relation to just how big of a shithead they’re being?  I would gladly do so and maybe it would be a little easier to handle their whining if I were able to respond with “STFU, you entitled little SHIT.”  But for now, I think I’m going to settle for having learned my lesson and not accept any more friend requests from my friends’ kids.


Quarter Life Crisis

So have you heard of this thing called a Quarter Life Crisis?  From the Wikipedia site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis

The quarter-life crisis is a period of life following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the late teens to the early thirties, in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult. The term was coined by analogy with mid-life crisis.

I think I’m having the opposite of a quarter life crisis.  I’m having a quarter life affirmation.  Allow me to explain:

It started about 6 weeks ago when I was in Phoenix visiting my sister.  She’s about to turn 30 and I’m 28.  We were talking about having those “Holy Shit, I’m an ADULT” moments.  In a lot of ways, it’s hard for me to think of myself as an adult.  I usually dress like a teenage boy, I play a shitload of video games and I still feel like the antisocial 16 year old I was.  My first one was when I got hired for the GS position I had in Germany.  I was 25 and they hired me to create and stand up a vision therapy program for long term rehabilitation with TBI patients.  Yeah, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I was able to handle the job and actually truly excelled at it.  I loved that job.  My second was right after we moved back to the states and Husband and I bought a washer and a dryer.  For the first time in our lives, we own major appliances.  We own appliances that don’t sit on the counter in the kitchen.  HOLY SHIT, WE OWN MAJOR APPLIANCES.  Then, I realized that I don’t get carded to buy alcohol anymore.  WTF?  I think that I still look like I’m 16 but I guess I don’t.  My final moment was when I received my first Jury Summons.  At the tender age of 27.  Perhaps I should elaborate on why it took so long:  I lived in Germany from the age of 19 to the age of 27.  I received the Jury Summons within 90 days of being back on US soil.  Sister mentioned that 28 was the age that everything kind of came together for her.  She stopped being as crazy and irresponsible as she had been previously.  She said something along the lines of “That’s what 28 is all about, it’s about truly becoming an adult.”

And I think she’s right, overall.  28 is about realizing that you’re not a teenager anymore.  You haven’t been a teenager for 10 years, so it’s time to stop acting like one.

I’ve been mulling this over in my head for about 6 weeks now and it’s caused a huge difference in my life.  It’s finally sinking in that it’s easier to just do it right the first time.  It’s so much easier to spend X amount of time organizing your life and KEEPING IT ORGANIZED than to try to sift through the chaos every day.  I’ve also cut caffeine and soda out of my diet.  And I feel like a completely different person.  I don’t feel like the defensive, reactive mess anymore.  I’m proactive.  I’m more centered and much more calm.  And I really like that.