The Loki Situation (part 2)

Hey guys, so I have something I’m writing but I need to talk to a couple of crucial people (that it’s about) before it goes live.  So in the mean time, you get another Loki post!

Picking up from where we left off, here we go:

(210) I just blogged about you.  #iregretnothing

(503) Are we hashtagging things now? #thisdoesnothing.

(210) Occasional habit. #anditseemstobugtheshitoutofpeople

 (503) I do not trust twitter.  Those birds are too friendly with pop’s ravens.

(210) Understandable, but I have no problems with Huginn or Muninn, thus, Twitter doesn’t bother me.

 (503) You know, they like to watch people… in the shower.

(210) I would imagine watching me in the shower would be amusing for them, what with the bad karaoke.  But modesty has never burdened me, so I’m not sure what the problem is…

 (503) Oh my.  Thor is using milking to crush walnuts.

(210) Mjolnir?

 (503) … Moline

(503) Autocorrect.  Mjolnir.

(503) Anyway, he’s crushing walnuts.  What he doesn’t know is I’ve put an illusion on a couple of the ball bearings used in the helicarrier’s fans.  The illusion of course, makes them look like walnuts.

(210) Hehehe, I wish I could see the look on his face when they refuse to crush!

 (503) You could say this plan is… All Nutty!

(210) *puts sunglasses on* AWWWWWW YEEEAAAAAHHHH!

 (503) Hmmmm, I have the strangest desire to put on sunglasses at the moment.

(210) Are you expecting Thor’s frustration to involve pyrotechnics?

(503) Well, let’s just say that if the kitchen slaves wish to make pasta, they could use this table to drain the noodles.

(210) Nice.  I’m not usually one for brute strength, but that’s kind of impressive.

 (503) I am annoyed.

(210) And I’m annoyed!  Together, we’re a pair-annoyed! (paranoid, get it?)

Side note, does anyone get this joke?  If not, Get Educated

(210) Why are you annoyed?

(503) You ever try to invite trickster gods over for a get together? Coyote says he’ll come, but then flakes; he thinks it’s the utmost in trickery.  Ha freaking ha.  Not like you haven’t used that one you four legged cur.

(210) Come on, now, Coyote’s a friend of mine.  He’s wily but he’s not terribly bright.  Be charitable when assessing his “tricks”…

(210) And in his defense, he’s kind of forgetful.

(503) Spider shows up early but ends up telling the same freaking stories all night.  Seriously, if I have to hear about how he stole the tiger’s genitals one more time, I’m going to make sure Ms Romanov is in attendance.  Little known fact, for a woman named The Black Widow, she is certainly quick to squash anything with eight legs.

(210) That’s not all that surprising. And yeah, only met Anansi once, but that was enough for me.  That tiger story wasn’t even really funny the first time.

(210) You know what sucks?  FT Hood, TX sucks.

(503) You know, I was vaguely aware of that.  Would it be suitable as a penal colony for a future ruler?

(210) Absolutely.  Although, FT Bliss would be slightly more demoralizing.

(210) I got a lecture from Directory Fury today about how we “should not engage in casual conversation with known supervillains, even if it *is* Thor’s brother.”

(210) Tasha gave me a very “I’m so disappointed” look.  Stark laughed his ass off and asked for your phone number.  I haven’t given it to him, yet…

(210) You know, I figure eventually, I’ll annoy you enough or bore you enough that you’ll tell me your terran alias…

(210) 48 hours now.  Darling Loki, I’m beginning to think you tire of our game.  Are you offended I called you a supervillain? Because you should know I don’t care what that pedantic Cyclops says.  I do what I want.  Villain or not, you’re terribly amusing and I’m having fun.

(503) Just distracted with my latest plan.

(210) Anything worth sharing?  Or should I just watch for fireworks and/or headlines?

(503) I’m going to turn Midguard’s children against your heroes.  Children will fall upon them in heaps of teeth and biting.

(210) And while Tasha might fight back, the rest of them will be paralyzed at the idea of hiding kids.  I like it.

(503) They won’t be able to set food within 200 meters of a school or daycare.

(210) Hehehe, Play it right and you might actually be able to get them listed as registered sex offenders for the duration of their lives.

(503) I will share in due time.


About Kalypso

I'm a mess. My brain is a dirty and dangerous place. I'm a punk. I'm a capitalist. I'm a snarky, sarcastic, antisocial nerd. View all posts by Kalypso

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