Let’s talk Foxes.

Not real foxes. I mostly want an excuse to post pictures of David Tennant topless and swoon over Ryan Gosling.  But we’ll get to that later…

I should start at the beginning.  Yesterday, I watched the 2011 remake of Fright Night for the first time.  And I know they tried really, really hard to make a legit horror film, but it’s absolutely awful. It has David Tennant and Collin Farrell in it though, so it’s really great Lady Porn.  Honestly, the acting is all pretty good and the storyline isn’t that bad.  It’s got all the right elements to be a good horror film but it failed to ever scare me.  Mostly, it made me laugh. A lot.  I don’t know where it went wrong with the “horror” aspect, but somewhere along the way it did.  And maybe I’m wrong, maybe the studio meant for it to be funny instead of scary, but I really don’t think so.  Anton Yelchin (who is adorable but kind of makes me feel like a pedophile even though he’ll be 23 next week) and Toni Collette are both pretty awesome and as always, are superb actors.  Collin Farrell, while foxy as HELL just comes across bored instead of evil or scary.  Come to think of it, the only movie I’ve seen where Collin Farrell didn’t come across as either bored or campy as fuck was In Bruges.  Which you need to see.  NOW.  Seriously, if you haven’t seen this movie you’re missing out on one of the best black comedies I’ve ever seen.  It’s dark and sad and funny and just generally fantastic.  But I digress.

The number one reason to see Fright Night is David Tennant.  He plays a Las Vegas magician/vampire expert and he’s hilarious.  He starts out all dark and broody and sexy as hell and just turns ridiculous.

I’m not able to embed the clip I want, but seriously, you need to go watch this. It’s about a 3 minute clip of Tennant in Fright Night and it’s hilarious.

While it was a little unnerving to watch The Doctor drop F-Bombs left and right and talk about sex and wear leather pants, it was also incredibly … Hot.  Also, he’s topless for the majority of the scenes he has. Which I approve of.  Wholeheartedly.  In fact, I think that David Tennant should just never wear a shirt.  Ever.  Even if it’s 10 degrees below zero.  Don’t care.  Show me them abs, Scottish.  Ahem. Sorry, I may have gotten distracted there for a second.  Tennant also has the two best lines in the entire movie.  I’m not going to tell you their context, you should really just watch it, but here’s two of the three greatest things I’ve ever heard him say:

“I’m a great date! Get me drunk enough and I’ll try anything!”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. That doesn’t narrow it down. That’s like, mini-golf and sushi. ”

(The third, in case you were wondering, was from an episode of Doctor Who.  A police officer tells the Doctor that he’s under arrest for aiding and abetting and the Doctor replies with “Right, I’ll just step into this police box and arrest myself then.”  And promptly steps into the TARDIS.)

Seriously, I’m telling you, David Tennant makes this movie worth watching.  Go track it down or Netflix it or whatever.

UPDATED!!1!11!!
Shit, when I posted this the first time I completely forgot to tell you about my new favorite thing. Over the ending credits of Fright Night, there’s an old-timey rock and roll version of “99 Problems”. Really, the only thing it has in common with Jay-Z’s song are the lines “If you’re having girl problems/I feel bad for you son/I got 99 problems/but a bitch ain’t one” It’s performed by Hugo and it’s fabulous! Listen to it. Love it. Download it. The entire album this came off of is really good and well worth the $8.00 in iTunes.

So, moving on to Ryan Gosling.  I think it’s pretty well established that Ryan Gosling, in addition to being one of the greatest actors in Hollywood today, is a sex GOD.  I don’t know a single heterosexual female (or homosexual male) that doesn’t think this man is sex on a stick. Shit, I know plenty of lesbians and straight men who think he’s gorgeous.

Last night, after watching Fright Night, I watched Drive. It was unsurprisingly lovely. Honestly, I’ve never seen a Ryan Gosling movie I haven’t liked. Except the Notebook. But I mostly hate that movie because it makes me cry and I don’t like to cry. Gosling’s character in Drive was a lot more complex then I thought he was going to be and it was incredibly well acted (as always). The whole movie is very well choreographed and the cinematography is phenomenal.
This is one of my favorite scenes from the movie, but be aware, there are titties and violence in it, so it may not be safe for work or children.

Check it out, it’s worth the 2 hours you’ll spend on it and then some.

(I just realized that with how much I talk about him, I may need a David Tennant tag… What do you think?)

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About Kalypso

I'm a mess. My brain is a dirty and dangerous place. I'm a punk. I'm a capitalist. I'm a snarky, sarcastic, antisocial nerd. View all posts by Kalypso

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