No promises, pushy internet world. But I’m going to do my best to have something interesting and hopefully funny to say every day.
I’ve had a couple of people tell me lately that I should start a blog. One of them, we’ll call him M, said “Start a blog and blog about me!”. To which I replied “What makes you think I have anything to say about you?” And he cried. Not really, but still. Anyway, here it is:
M is one of the strangest boys I’ve ever known. The first time he ever spoke to me was the first day of school, freshman year (high school, not college). He sat down next to me in English and said with a very serious voice, “You know, for being a neutral country, the Swiss have a very aggressive tasting cheese”. Then got up and walked away. My first thought was “Oh, I’m gonna like him”. I don’t think we spoke again for several weeks. I am painfully shy and at the tender age of 14 had not yet learned to overcome it. We eventually became friends. He’s still one of my best friends, 15 years later. He’s one of the only people I’ve ever met who makes me feel stupid sometimes. He’s crazy smart and kind of insane, too… He’s brilliant, funny, gorgeous and a genuinely good person (most of the time). He’s got a sick and twisted mind but never actually follows through on any of his awful plans. Mostly, he seems to manipulate other people into doing fucked up things, much to the amusement of those around to witness.
My two favorite memories with M are the only two times I’ve ever seen him drunk. He doesn’t drink much, so when he gets sloppy it’s always memorable. Both times, I’ve noticed that he gets really touchy-feely-lovey when he’s drunk. At least with me. But then, all my boys do. I get a lot of hugs and kisses on the cheek and “We love you”s. He also has this slightly unnerving habit of nonchalantly telling me things about his sex life. Like I need to know or something. M is also one of the very few people I’ve ever met who’s a bigger nerd than I am.
M is a lawyer and is currently working in Family Law. His anecdotes “Heard in Family Court” are always a big hit. I’ll steal everything I can from him and post it here, it’s all funny as shit. And it reminds me why I don’t have kids. And why I’ll be a widow before I ever go through a divorce again. God forbid I end up being one of M’s anecdotes…
And I can’t think of anything else to say about M right now. Except that I’m going to end of a super sappy note. All joking aside, M really is one of my best friends and I love that boy dearly.
Funny shit tomorrow, I promise.